Now to talk a lot about me (because life as I know it at this point in time is nothing about me) and where I am in my life right now. My husband Matt and I have been married for four years. We have been together for 9 years! Such a long time together! We have at times grown bored with one another after having been together for a total of nine years and have along the way added two dogs to our family to spice things up a bit! One year we got Dixie and the following year we decided Dixie needed a playmate and decided to add Jackson to our family. Then the following year we decided two dogs were enough and it was time to try to have a baby. It took us a little over a year (what seemed like eternity) to finally hear the word "Congratulations" but when we did it was music to our ears! We have been extremely blessed . There is no doubt about that. I thank God daily and wouldn't trade it for anything. Keep that in mind as throughout future blogs you hear me rant and rave complaining about pregnancy. Never get confused to think that I don't want my baby. Keep in mind it is the whole being pregnant thing that I am not fond of. I would like to say that I was tricked into thinking pregnancy was easy. 95% of the people I have talked to whom have been pregnant have told me it was the best time of their life. They were never sick. They were just perfect. Me on the other hand, if there is a symptom of pregnancy you better bet I have it! It gets old. It gets draining. It gets frusterating. And most of all... it wears me down. I am not one of the lucky many who was fortunate enough to have a perfect pregnancy. Please do not come up to me and tell me that you have because you just might get knocked in your jaw. And I say that in the nicest way possible and giving you fair warning. If anything, you can atleast pretend and give me some comfort in knowing there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel.
I am 11 weeks along and discovered my first stretch mark yesterday! :-O Talk about the end of the world. I don't feel like myself anymore. I find myself begging for my old self back. I miss tanning, I miss working out, I miss being skinny, I miss my little boobs which at one time I thought were big, but now as they have grown even more I want my old ones back!! I've never been a fan of big boobs. I'd be more than happy to be one of those flat chested chicks. Boobs get in my way and even more so now. I find myself praying that they will stop growing over the next 6 months and hopefully shrink down to nothing after pregnancy. Not flattened. But small and perky. Geez I can't believe I just ranted about my boobs this whole time. But that is unforuntantely where I have found my first stretch mark. Which has caused me to be very depressed and lose all hope for the next 6 months of my life. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I am in dire need of some uplifting words. Until then I will continue to bathe in cocoa butter and take baby steps.
Now that you know about my life here are some things about me. I'm not a people person, but I'm definitely a child person. I love children. I'd much rather be around them all day, everyday than grown adults. I'm not the type of person you meet who runs up to you and says nice to meet you with a huge smile and hug. I'm very standoffish not to be confused with stuck up or snooty. Just like I said.. just not a people person. Don't take it personally. My life has been full of betrayal. I trust very few people and those that may break my trust will probably never fully get it back. I pride myself in the people I keep close to me. Those are the people who make my life worth living. The people who I love and keep dear to my heart. I have many friends, but very few best friends and I love having it that way. My best friends are the ones that I trust whole heartedly. Those who I know will never turn their back on me. My best friends are a lot like me which is probably why they are my best friends. Not very many people can understand me, but my best friends can. I wouldn't expect anyone else to even try. One of the BEST things about my best friends is that no matter what I do I always know that I am on their mind and in their heart without them even saying a word. One of the biggest things in my life is TRUST! That is what every single one of my best friendships are built on. As a child I grew up trusting only my grandparents and my sister. Everyone else in my life constantly let me down. It is complicated and why I am the way I am. I don't care to get into it. Just know that I have been the way I am since a very young age and there is no changing me now :) But I love and value who I am and so there is no need to ever change that. I hope I did not bore you all. I know that is a lot for my first blog. I warned you I am long winded. Be thankful I am not your preacher on Sunday morning being the cause of your roast burning. I will leave you with some pictures of my dogs and the new baby.
Dixie
Jackson
Baby Earnheart
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