I've been stuck in a rut as time nears for Eli's arrival. They say labor is two steps forward and one step back. To be patient during the process. I feel like that is how my life constantly is. Two steps forward, one step back. But atleast there is some progress to be made. Not as much as I would like. Nearing the end of this pregnancy my sickness has come back. I am nautious almost every morning. This morning I actually threw up. I've been laying around sleeping most of the morning. Drinking fluids, eating small amounts, and reminding myself I only have three more days. I am starting to get in a funk. Starting to become very drained. I am very uncomfortable, very irritable, and emotional. Three days doesn't seem like a lot, but it could not come fast enough honestly.
Spring has arrived and with it more work. As if preparing for Eli's arrival isn't enough our lawn mower gets put in the shop, we have taxes to pay in this month, and our front door breaks. Matt's weedeater is tore up, but we will save that for another day. Our luck with things.. well we have NO luck with things. Something is always needing to be done especially come spirng time it seems like. It has officially overwhelmed me because at 39 weeks pregnant I am good for very little. I do good to get laundry done and my mess picked up. Matt gets tired of doing so much. I get tired of not being able to do enough. Talk about tention around this place. We have plenty to go around.
B A L A N C E... With all of these things flooding over me I have come to realize I am not good at balancing things as I really should be. I just can't quite figure out how to balance this wife, teacher, and soon to be mom thing. Being pregnant I have seemed to neglect Matt quite a bit. I am moody too much. I complain too much. I'm not affectionate enough. I'm always on his case. He says he feels as if he can't get anything right half the time to suit me. Poor him. He has to live with me therefore he gets to take on my frusterations and irritableness. I tried to spend Friday having quality time just him and I. I wanted to go see a movie. He said a movie wasn't a good idea. It would be too far from the hopsital. Instead he bought me popcorn and we were goin to go to his parents and watch a movie. We ended up over there and of course my husband ends up playing video games while me and his mom watched a movie. Quality time=failure.
So Saturday was beautiful. I woke up not feeling well. Layed down and napped for a bit. Woke up feeling better. Decided a picnic on a boat and fishing would be great quality time to spend with my husband. I needed some sun and he loves to fish. I thought it was the perfect idea for us to reconnect and do something special together before Eli. As time nears to get ready everyone decides that me getting out on a boat in the middle of water was not a good idea considering I really could go into labor at any given moment. Solution to the problem is we will go to his mom and dad's, wash my car, and barbeque. I helped Matt wash the car. I sprayed it down while he washed. His dad did all the barbequing while Matt played video games. I layed on the couch and played words with my mother in law. Quality time=Failure
Sunday was going to be my work day. I have tons to get done at school. I knew I needed to go get some things done. Matt wasn't enthusiastic about going to help at all. We decided that before we headed to the school we would get Eli's stuff in the car and carseat installed considering I've been very crampy all weekend and not felt well at all. It took forever to install a carseat. Approximately an hour. We decided we would go get grocierys, cook a nice supper together, and spend some time with one another. Get home from the grocery store and the front door is broke. Work at the school did not get done. Matt and his dad went and picked up a door from Lowes and spend the rest of the afternoon installing it. They finished the door around 8 p.m. Right as it started to get dark. It was too late to cook a big meal. I was wore out and tired and so was Matt. I had a left over barbequed hot dog from Saturday. He made a bologne sandwich. We went to bed. Quality time=FAILURE
Due to waking up sick this morning and my projetile vomiting that made a huge mess everywhere including all over myself I was not able to make it to work today. Did I have anything prepared for a sub today? Absolutely not! I never imagined I wouldn't be able to make it in today. It has been a mess with where is this and where is that. Do you want the kids to do this or that. My sub didn't even show until around lunch. Different teachers had to take my kids. I didn't work Friday because I had a doctors appointment which ended up being canceled. No work Friday. No work Monday. Two days behind. I have a doctors appoinment tomorrow and have to leave school a little early. Therefore this afternoon looks like a LONG afternoon for me. And in the midst of all of this stuff my son will be here Thursday. In THREE days. O M G! Can I even do this? Right now my mind cannot even fathom adding one more thing to juggle around. It sucks the joy and excitement right out of it. I LOVE the text messages I get and little comments about how excited other people are. It keeps my spirits up and peps me up. My best friend Lauren will be home and at the hopsital with me Thursday! I am really super excited about this. Not only because I get to see her but to have her there by my side is the most amazing feeling in the whole world. I could just cry thinking about it. I love that no matter how far we are in distants we are still so close in each others hearts. It means the world to me that it means the world to her to be there with me. I couldn't ask for a better best friend!!!
"So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) --Dr. Seuss
No comments:
Post a Comment